Xbox Hate Crime

Dear Husband,
It is because I love you I say this, so please understand...

I am awake an hour and a half early because the loud obnoxious sounds of GTA5 scaring the life out of me at 4:39 in the morning...and you curiously laughing to find out if someone shoots a line of gas while you pour it out if it will light on fire like in real life. It does?! That's fabulous and I am so glad you cleared that up! Your happiness is everything to me, love your smile.

I also understand that we work different schedules and you are up while I am asleep. But just so you know...when I don't get my sleep I cannot be expected to be a functional member of society.

So if you come home and the xbox is just magically *poof* in the washing machine and I am sleeping soundly, you will know that I did it for our marriage, your sanity, and so I can sleep and dream of Daryl Dixon fighting off zombies while singing me Disney show tunes in a edgy new-rock way.

Just saying.

I love you and hope you sleep well today while no one is home.

Hide the xbox.

Love always,
A very sleepy wife

Reflecting & Resolutions

Reflecting & Resolutions…

Tis that time again when I vow I will blog like I am supposed to, when New Year’s Resolutions are being made, and when we all realize that we probably shouldn’t have had that second slice of pie at Christmas dinner…It happens.

Well what a year you were 2012…you brought happiness and sorrow, life and death, and lots of Ben and Jerry’s. I survived and made it through in one piece although there were times where I literally thought I was going to crumble. Hell, I am always up for a challenge so bring on 2013, I say!

As for my New Year’s Resolutions…I thoroughly suck at making them, but I do have a few that have spawned from my life lessons of this past year.

1.      I will be a better mother. I will say yes more to my children and no more to the things around me. I will be a champion for their dreams and needs and I will make sure that I am available to them whenever they need me.

2.      I will be one hot Mama! I plan on getting on the healthier track and being an example for my children…Plus I’d like to get down a couple of dress sizes ;)

3.      I will be the wife I should be. I will make sure every day my husband knows how much he means to me.

Those are the bigger resolutions, of course there are the smaller ones like not eating as much junk food, looking both ways before crossing the street…you know…those kind.

Now I guess it is time for reflecting on my 2012…

My mother passed away. It just feels so unreal still and it’s very hard. I don’t care what anyone says to me, it has not gotten easier, I think it just becomes this strange ‘normal’ that I can’t describe. I miss her so much every day, and there have been several of those days when I needed to pick up the phone and call her and ask if the hot dogs in my fridge are still good, or if I should worry when one of the kids is running a 101.0 fever. Then of course I realize I can’t, and it’s a very bittersweet moment, because ultimately…I know the answers to those questions, because she taught me. She showed me how to be a good wife and mother and housekeeper, although that last one is still really hard for me to do with a full time job, three kids, a husband and a dog…but I’m getting there. She knew I would always need her, and so she knew she was teaching me the things I would need to know and remember. And while it didn’t seem like it when she was here, I was learning and remembering them, although not being able to physically hear her reassurance, I know she is here with me each and every day doing just that.

Ok. –insert ugly cry, deep breath, and recuperation here-

Happy time! We had Miles Parker! The newest addition to the Price Brigade! He is 6 months old now, good gravy, and he is a hoot. He’s cutting teeth and rolling over, and sitting up and just absorbing his world around him. It’s amazing. On the kid note, Fisher turned two, Jack turned seven, Badger turned one, and Sean and I turned Old. J We realized this when we went to the movies and to dinner when we had an all-night babysitter and then decided at like 9:00 to go pick up our kids and come home.

But hey, what can I say. We were meant to be parents, clearly.

Those are just a few of the things that happened in my 2012. There was SO much more that will come up as true hilarity and sadness and randomness in future blogs…which! Oh yeah, I forgot, my 4^th New Year’s Resolution…I will actively blog, for my mom. She LOVED reading my writing and I promised her that I would keep it up. So. I. Will.

Remember everyone – if you aren’t following me already on Twitter, YOU SHOULD BE @JackNFisherMom.

In the words of PhillyD “Love yo faces!”

Extra! Extra! Blog All About It!

So…once again, in true Ashley fashion – I have failed to keep up with blogging on a consistent basis. *Sigh* I know, I know. BUT…in my defense, since the last blog I posted before "Chicken Sandwich." A LOT of stuff has happened, I mean a lot a lot. And not just, “Oh I started doing this, and Fisher did this,” but BIG things. So where do I start…

Let’s see…we moved back to Bentonville, I left my job at Lindsey and started a new chapter with Sam’s Club, we found out I was pregnant, moved into the house I grew up in, Sean legally adopted Jack, my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, my grandfather remarried and moved away, and we just recently added baby Miles to the crowd two weeks and 5 days ago!

Oh and we got a dog. Badger.

-Insert overly dramatic inhale here-

A lot to take in right? I didn’t really realize HOW much had happened in the past year until I put pen to paper.

Don’t fret – each of these monumental life events will get their own blog explaining everything into further detail…but for now I have three little boys that require my attention :)

Remember if you aren’t already following me on Twitter – do so now! @JackNFishersMom

Chicken Sandwich.

What better way to bring back a seemingly dormant blog than with a highly touchy controversial subject!

By now, I am sure that most of you have heard the Chick-Fil-A controversy…if not, go read up on it and come back…I’ll wait…

Are you done yet? Ok, great.

I have been seeing a lot of posts on my friends Facebook pages and Twitter accounts regarding this and I have also personally read a lot of the articles that have hit the media as well.

Here are my thoughts. And if you don’t agree with me, fine. Don’t agree. But don’t hate…hate is why we have a topic to discuss today unfortunately.

Chick-Fil-A. They make delicious chicken sandwiches, and I thoroughly enjoy them. When they revamped their desert menu, their brownies started to really stink, I’m blaming Splenda versus real sugar. The end.

Ok, seriously though – I have several gay friends. I love and support every one of them. They should be able to get married and have children, same as anyone else because sexual orientation doesn’t build a family…LOVE does. So when someone tries to stand in their way of living a full and loving life, and then tries to justify that ignorance by saying that type of ‘lifestyle’ goes against ‘family values,’ it makes my blood boil. Take a look around peeps – there are PLENTY of heterosexual men and women who don’t have the balls to be dedicated to their families and spouses these days.

While I completely agree with 95% of people who say that the CEO of Chick-Fil-A is an idiot and should be strung up by his toes and have his nasty artificially sweetened brownies thrown at his face…I won’t sit by and let ONE person’s thoughts affect MY views on a company. Not only should he have kept his comments to himself, knowing that something like this would go STRAIGHT UP Perez Hilton on his ass, he should have REALLY known better than to try and slough it off as a companywide belief. That act alone shows his ignorance.

I’m not going to speak for any of the other Chick-Fil-A chains that pepper the nation’s fast food industry, but I am going to give my opinion on ours that are here locally…and I have never been given reason to believe that any of the employees would act maliciously or inappropriately to ANYONE, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation.

IN FACT. I would be willing to take bets, that prior to this comment being made, the majority of people in NWA would say that the customer service at Chick-Fil-A’s (at least here in NWA) was 110% better than the other fast food restaurants that are here.

So now I’m seeing everyone boycotting Chick-Fil-A all through Northwest Arkansas because of ONE person’s comment. Don’t get me wrong I think you should totally stand up for what you believe in, in whatever fashion you see fit and if that means no more delicious chicken biscuits then so be it…But I believe that you shouldn’t condemn an entire company based on one ignorant person’s comments, isn’t that sort of what their CEO just did? Jusssst sayin.

At the end of the day I don’t want my personal views on highly explosive topics to be determined by where I choose to eat lunch one day, so I will continue to support the gay community to the fullest, and I will continue to eat my chicken sandwiches...it’s just a chicken sandwich – not a statement.

Facts are Facts. Chick-Fil-A is a restaurant. There is always going to be hate in the world. I choose to believe that love will prevail. I believe that God loves EVERYONE.

And I will eat chicken darn it.

Be sure to follow me on Twitter if you aren’t already! @JackNFishersMom

Yeah...I did that.

So this morning my best friend and I were having a discussion about one random thing or another and this topic came up to us when you say you aren’t going to do something and then you end up doing it anyways, or you just have one of those moments where you say or do something completely idiotic and you can’t help but think to yourself, “Yeah. I did that.”

Of course that made my creative light bulb go off in my head and I started thinking about a list of things that you try so hard not to do, and then you’re like “Yeah…I did that.”

1.   We had trouble with our air conditioner at work, and when the guy who was supposed to fix it stuck his head in my office door to ask if it was cool in the office, I responded with “No, It’s Thursday.” Yeah…I did that.

2.   While walking through the grocery store I bumped into a display of laundry detergent, I politely apologized and said “Excuse me, sir.” Yeah I did that.

3.   When I was 14 Katrina and I were attempting to sneak out of the house for Valentine’s Day in order to spend it with our boyfriends at that time…so we gave my mom the excuse of “Katrina and I are going to the drive in movie theater” in order to justify staying out late…but little did we know that the drive in was closed for the season. Yeah We did that.

4.   Last night Sean and I were watching Saturday Night Live, and the musical guest was Foster the People. Sean proceeded to pronounce ‘people’ in the following way – pee-oh-play. Yeah, he did that.

5.   My parents had a sack of peanuts at their house surrounded by sand. After asking why there was sand around the bag, and being explained to me that peanuts in fact grew in the sand, I chimed in with, “I thought they grew on trees!” Yeah, I did that.

6.   Sean had just made dinner for us and I took my Styrofoam plate and sat it down on the burner of the stove that did NOT have anything on it so I could get the last piece of cornbread and put on my plate, but my plate proceeded to make a horrendous sizzling noise as it melted to my food because apparently he had been using that burner and it was still hot! Yeah I did that.

7.   My father in law was talking about his garden and the veggies he had planted and mentioned something about pickled okra…and I assumed, and vocally let it be known, that I was surprised how there was a special type of okra that just magically grew already pickled! Yeah, I did that.

8.   Katrina, my absolute best friend ever, was telling me a story about someone who was clearly a “pot-head” as the youth these days like to call it, and without thinking said something about, “I just don’t want to smoke Ganja.” Luckily she has me as a friend, who called her out on her obvious 90-year old crabby lady mistake and laughed. But you know the drill. Yeah, she did that.

9.   While Katrina and I were riding in the car listening to music, a rap song came on the radio that I had never heard and I really liked it actually so while I meant to say “This is alright!” My inner gangsta came out and said loudly, “That’s AIIIGHT!” Yeah I did that. We still laugh about this one, actually.

So I only have 9 of these so far because for some reason the whacky formatting on my blog indents number 10 WAY far into the paragraph instead of keeping it lined up with number 9 and that drives me bonkers!

10.                SEEEEEE?! The formatting is so off! Oh well I have another one! So one of my friends was out with the girls and they were like “You should leave your number for the waiter!” and my friend was like “No! No! Way I could never ever do that! Oh my gosh!” And she did it. Haha. Left her number. Yeah, she did that.

But now I am completely addicted to coming up with this list of “Yeah, I did that” things. I’m thinking they will definitely become a Twitter special which leads me to my NEXT saying which issss…..

If you aren’t already, you need to be following me on Twitter! @JackNFishersMom

OH! Before I forget, because I do that a lot!        

We are getting ready to move this weekend, exciting I know! But things are going to be kind of hectic and there are a lot of changes that I am going to be making ALONG WITH possibly starting a vlog for YouTube! Even MORE exciting right?! I will fill you guys in as everything happens, but yeah! That is basically it for now!

Peace out home-skillets!

Is it just me or was this font ridiculously tiny??? Damn formatting.

Again With the Blogging!

Why am I so horribly bad at being consistent with things?? Writing is my passion, my niche, my awesomely good talent…so WHYY can I not make myself write every day? Then I realize, even on days when I have ABSOLUTELY nothing going on…I am still ridiculously busy! So I took the liberty of typing up my schedule just to see how much free time I actually have in a day…and let me tell you, it isn’t much, at least not at a time! Haha!

5:40 a.m. – Up and at ‘em! Or at least I’d like to be…this is the point in my day when I debate hitting my ‘snooze’ button again, and then groggily drag my sleepy hind end to the shower…
6:00 a.m. – Out of the shower and more awake than I was 20 minutes ago…but still groggy and in need of something…
6:15 a.m. – Breakfast & drying my hair, applying make-up, getting pretty for the day. Yes, I eat my cereal WHILE I get ready, otherwise I would either starve, or go to work with wet hair :)
6:40 a.m. – Getting the boys awake and dressed, making sure the diaper bag is packed, lunches are good to go and getting the Hubster ready for his day.
7:05 a.m. – Out the door!! The 4 of us shuffle down stairs, and MOST mornings we are rushing out the door and into the car all while eating pop tarts and still applying eye liner because I ACTUALLY chose to hit the snooze button. :)
7:15 a.m. – Dropping off the Hubster at work
7:30 a.m. – Dropping off Jack at school for the day
7:35 a.m. – Calling Katrina, my BESTEST friend EVER, so that we can have our morning chat about whatever is currently going on in our lives and get a good laugh in before we start our work day.
7:50 a.m. – Dropping off the baby at daycare for a few hours
8:00 a.m. – I FINALLY arrive at work, open up the office and begin my day as a Marketing Coordinator & Executive Assistant…what else would I rather be doing?! Nothing! Love my job.
12:00 p.m. – My work day is over and it is time for me to work my schedule BACKWARDS now.
12:10 p.m. – Now I am PICKING up the baby from daycare, I usually chat with the girls for a little bit before I leave to go home and attempt to get things accomplished.
12:30 p.m.  – We FINALLY get home, and that is if we don’t have any errands to run between the time I leave to go pick up Jack Attack from school at 3:00…

1:00 p.m. – Fisher has a snack, watches 1 episode of any Nick Jr. show that I just happen to click on first and then proceed to lay down for naps until about 1:45. This is also when I turn on the music, and start cleaning, doing dishes, sorting things…whatever needs to be done at that time.
1:45 p.m. – Time to wake up the baby and get bottled water, graham crackers and my walking shoes on so I can go park in the carpool line to get Jack and walk with the girls!
2:00 p.m. – I’m parked in the carpool like, usually 5 cars back, because someone spilled our secret about getting there early, so now people get there at 1:45 to steal our spaces. Dang it. And I go walk with the girls until about 2:30, then come back and sit down and chat until it’s time for the kids to come down to the cars
3:00 p.m. – YAY! Jack is here!!! Time to feed them snacks and go get daddy! 4:00 p.m. – Daddy is off work! Yay! Then we get to head home!
4:15 p.m. – We’re HOME! Yay! But now it’s time to do home work, or whatever needs to be done, have some play time with the boys and start dinner. Ok, so I can’t really complain about the cooking dinner portion of my day, because I have been blessed with a truly awesome cook for a husband, and he LOVES cooking…so he usually takes over that part of the evening so I can really catch up on emails, and having some play time with the boys…
6:00 p.m. – DINNER TIME!!! Yummy! Obviously this is when we eat dinner as a family :)
7:00 p.m. – After Dinner is done and the dishes are put away and the boys bellies are full it is time for them to get bath time and another round of play time until 8:00 when it’s bed time!!!
8:00 p.m. – Bed Time for Babies! We put the boys in bed, give hugs & kisses and tell good night stories.
8:15 p.m. – After bedtime stories, kisses & hugs and plopping down on the couch, we usually catch up on a show we enjoy watching together, or a movie. I have to admit though we are a really technological family, who probably also all have ADD…so even though the movie is TURNED ON, we are usually sitting on the couch cuddling up playing on our phones or laptops…the world we live in.
10:30 p.m. – Movie or show is OVER and now it’s time to hit the hay…

See!? Seriously…I only found a few hours of ACTUAL free time total…and that is getting an hour or two here and there squeezed in, not all at once.

And that doesn’t include if we have things to do like going to the grocery store or to the my In-Law’s for dinner, or anything like that….so I am a busy woman…I’m sure I just feel like I’m busy and running around like crazy because I’m the one doing it, and to someone who is a CEO of a major company and has 4 kids to shuffle around to activities and a is a single parent, I have the good life. So DO NOT think that I am complaining at all! I am grateful to have the life and family that I do…TRUST ME! J

But this blog IS dedicated to the craziness that is going to be occurring this week in my life! Ooh-hoo! Just wait for that updated post!

I LOVE my crazy hectic life and I wouldn’t have it any other way! J

The Cable-Less Prices!

I noticed yesterday on one of my friends Facebook status’ that he was getting rid of cable television…and I have to admit I was pretty excited when I saw that. Let’s face it, in all honesty, American’s as a whole, watch WAY too much boob-tube. I and my family are included in that generalization, so don’t think I’m being all judgmental or anything.

Now, let me backtrack.

A few months ago, Sean and I sat down and looked at our monthly bills as a whole and realized that we were spending money frivolously on things that we actually didn’t need. SO we decided to make some cutbacks in the departments we thought were taking the most away from our budget. Cable, just happened to be one of them. At any given time our cable bill would range from $115.00 - $140.00 per month…and at that time we had digital cable, with the DVR and high speed internet. So when we moved to Fayetteville we decided to ditch the DVR and just have basic cable, and internet, which lowered our bill to about $98.00 - $100.00 per month. Not as bad, but still not good. And it almost ALWAYS fluctuated. Which was crap.

So I still wasn’t happy with that and decided to give my cable company a piece of my mind, since I was already giving them a pretty hefty piece of my paychecks. When I spoke with Javier, (Nope, not even making that up…that was his name…) HE informed me that they could charge surcharges, fees, sales tax, and any other little charges they felt were necessary on cable services all they wanted…but they couldn’t charge ANYTHING on internet services. So of course it infuriated me that the bulk of my bill was coming from my $54.00 cable services and all of the fees and frills they were tacking on to it! Jerks. At that point I realized that if I completely cancelled our cable services and kept only our high speed internet, which we needed for work, school, XBOX Live, etc…my cable bill would only be $38.99 a month…every month, without ANY fluctuation…and I really really liked the sound of that. :)

But at the same time, I was NOT keen on giving up my Grey’s Anatomy and my Glee cold turkey in the middle of seasons…So I started researching online and started finding and bookmarking websites that had unlimited streaming or uploading of television shows, football games, movies, and so on and so forth.

And let me switch gears on you really fast…I know, I'm blowing your mind.

We have an XBOX 360, and we also pay for XBOX live on a yearly basis, which is like $100.00 give or take a little, but that actually breaks down to be pretty cheap considering how much we actually use it…so in my opinion, if you do NOT have an XBOX 360 or a Wii or something along those lines that allows for web-streaming of videos, buy one. GO GO NOW. It is the best investment you will ever make, I swear.

Now if you already have an XBOX 360 – none of this is going to be news to you. But basically on XBOX Live you have tons of video options from Zune, to Netflix to Hulu Plus, to College Game Day streaming, just to name a few. Not to mention the wonderful internet that is available on your computers, and surprisingly enough, all of these are pretty cheap and user friendly.

And we’re back.

So once I did my research and found out that I could access a lot of the television shows we were currently watching either through our XBOX Live account, or the internet I was pretty sold on cancelling the cable services.

AAAANNNNDDDD here is how it broke down for us…

We decided that the boys still needed their cartoons now and again and we would like to be able to watch the occasional movie, so Netflix unlimited streaming for $10.00 a month was a go. We also decided that I would be a very unhappy mama if I could no longer watch Glee…so Hulu Plus for $7.99 a month was also a go along with our regular internet services for $38.99 per month.

So what is that you say? I LITERALLY cut my cable bill down by almost 75%?! You’re darn skippy I did!!!

Here is how my bill looks now:

Internet: $38.99
Netflix: $10.74
Hulu Plus: $7.99

GRAND TOTAL: $57.72 per month VERSUS the $140.00 it was previously!

WOO HOOO!!!!!

And just in case you are REALLY that curious, here is how we have it all hooked up. We have our computer tower hooked up through our ginormous television screen that way if there is a show on Hulu Plus that is “Web Only” we don’t have to all crowd around my little laptop to watch a show online, we can simply switch our Input channel to PC and watch away! Then we also have the XBOX 360 hooked up through the television which makes viewing on that piece of technology more simple, and fortunately for us, our television is less than 3 years old so it actually has the digital antennae built right into it so we can pick up a few local channels, providing us with the local news, sports and shows. I think we actually get FOX, CBS, ABC, and NBC…which is all ya need right?! J There are some local access channels sprinkled in through those as well, which surprisingly enough have some decent shows on them!

There are lots of wires, but that’s what power surgers and zip ties are for right? I know, I'm a genius.

All in all, I thought it was going to be a really difficult transition going from having the ability to turn on the food network and watch Rachel Ray, and then switch to FX to watch Sons of Anarchy…but it really hasn’t been that bad at all. Given, you generally have to wait about 24 hours before videos are uploaded to the websites and things like that…but for the most part we are pretty busy and just take one night after dinner to catch up on everything and use our other nights to do fun stuff with the kiddos!

So in  my opinion investing in the XBOX 360, along with the yearly subscription to XBOX Live is a beneficial investment that you will get your money’s worth in the long run…AND, if you're going to buy your XBOX 360, go to GameStop...for an extra $20 bucks or so you can get a protection plan where if your two year old spills juice down into it and it starts having an electronic seizure, you can literally take it BACK up to GameStop and they will hand you a BRAND NEW one. It's worth it...but the protection plans.

And my other advice to you would be to CHECK OUT YOUR BILLS. There are all kinds of things they can be charging you for without you even knowing it…and there are ALWAYS ways to cut back and make changes, and I promise it will not be the end of the world if you decide to get rid of cable there are tons of places to watch television now aside from price-hungry cable companies!  J

Now that I have gracefully fallen off of my soap box for today…I will leave you with this bit-o'-information…

IF YOU AREN’T FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER ALREADY YOU NEED TO BE!!! SERIOUSLY. @JackNFishersMom

And I would like to thank Trey for posting about this on his Facebook page and giving me an awesome blog topic for today! J

Woo Pig Sooie!...Slightly Late...

I live in a college town where football is quite literally a way of life. I wish I were joking, because I am so athletically inclined I’m not sure how I manage to walk from point a. to point b. without difficulty on most days. Let alone participate or understand what is going on in oh, any, sporting event for that matter. Except baseball – that one I know very well! Yay me! But, I have come to the realization that living in a town that focuses solely on sports, fitness, and organic EVERYTHING probably isn’t the best match for my personality.

This weekend is Labor Day weekend, for those of you who have been living under a rock, or just don’t have any contact with the outside world. But in Northwest Arkansas, or ALL of Arkansas for that matter, it is not JUST Labor Day weekend…it is the first Razorback game of the season! Which, is pretty exciting. Now when I say pretty exciting, I do not mean exciting because I get to watch a football game. No, no. I am excited because any event that allows me to cook massive amounts of unhealthy finger foods, wear adorable red Razorback t-shirts with matching flip flops, put a cute little Razorback sticker on my face and hang out with my family, is an exciting day. My brother on the other hand, would beg to differ with me. He IS the ultimate sports fan. And so is his wife, so it’s probably good they found each other. They are HUGE fans of watching sports, talking about sports; playing sports…you name it. So when the first Razorback game comes on television they are literally “in it to win it.” They know exactly what is occurring, what the little yellow flags mean, all of that good stuff. I basically understand that when one of our guys starts running really fast, and there is NO ONE around him, that is a good thing. See? I catch on.

Anyways, I live IN Fayetteville - the HOME of the Razorbacks, University of Arkansas, and Tusk himself. Again for those of you who don’t know who Tusk is, he is the actual mascot. And this year’s freshman class is the largest freshman class the University of Arkansas has EVER had on record, which means, we are going to have the most people in Fayetteville for any Razorback game EVER on record THIS weekend.

I. Am. So. Sad.

As if traffic isn’t bad enough on a regular basis when the U of A is in session, we are going to have a ton of people here this weekend. And I get it, yay more revenue for the city, more exposure, woo-hoo. But no. We are being told that there are going to be SO many people in town using cell phones, that towers may go down, internet services may be slower, and crime will probably temporarily rise. FOR FOOTBALL.

Oh well. At least I get to look adorable!

See?

I even flipped it around so you could read my shirt! I am so rad. But unfortunately the changes didn't stay when I put it in my blog formatting...so that kind of stinks...but you get the idea!

Anyways – this blog is being posted LATE as usual…we won the game. Our car was hit while parked, and no one confessed to it, and we survived the first Razorback game of the season after sitting in traffic for 2 hours while waiting to pull into our driveway.

All in all, it was a good day tater.

Ask Ashley! The Introduction!

So this was an idea created by one of my good friends Taryn, as a cure for my horrendous writer’s block!

I am going to start doing a weekly blog based on questions my readers ask me on my Facebook page, Twitter account, snail mail, smoke signals – whichever!

Hopefully I will be getting enough followers, and questions that I can make it more of an “three times a week” post, so we shall see!

Basically here is how it is going to work –

Step One. You, the reader, will leave me a comment on Facebook with whatever it is you’re curious about. I am willing to give advice, hilarious opinions, outside of the box solutions, anything you need…except money, because that stuff is hard to come by! But if I had it, I’d probably give it out too.

Step Two. I, the writer, will respond in the “Ask Ashley!” Blog post of the week! I’m planning on addressing 2 to 3 issues in each particular blog, unless they seem to be rather lengthy topics, THEN I will address them separately!

Sounds easy enough right??

BUT! There is a deadline! Because I am a mom of two boys and I have a husband and a work-life, and somewhat of a regularly scheduled life, I can’t be blogging all day every day, although I’d like to…wouldn’t that be the best job ever!?

So I am going to post “Ask Ashley” ON FRIDAYS. Not Saturdays, not Wednesday Mornings…but FRIDAY. Every Friday. So I am going to stop considering questions for that Friday on WEDNESDAY! Any questions that come in AFTER Wednesday, will roll over to the next weeks blog. Are you still there? Or did I lose you?

Let’s Recap.

Ask Ashley will be posted every FRIDAY.

Questions & Topic Requests have to be posted to MY Facebook or Twitter by WEDNESDAY.

If you post a comment on my Facebook Thursday morning, don’t expect to see it until the next week’s blog.

I’m only one woman and I just can’t handle the pressure. Just kidding, but seriously, don’t do that. J

Easy peasy rice and cheesy right?!

I’m really excited to get this started! Which MEANS! Tomorrow will be our first ever “Ask Ashley!” Blog! Yay! It’s going to be a doozey! So make sure you check back in to read it!

And if you aren’t already…you know the drill…follow me on Twitter @JackNFishersMom

Peanut Butter Blogger Time! Peanut Butter Blogger...Werd.

So this is going to be a short, quick blog, because I have another hilarious blog that will be coming later on today…

Last night at Wal-Mart I needed to purchase some peanut butter, because at our house, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches might as well be freaking crack. So if we run OUT of peanut butter, the boys start jonesing for it hardcore.

Now for those of you who know me, I am cheap. C.H.E.A.P. cheap. What’s that you hear? A bird? Cheap. Cheap. Cheap? No, it’s me, being a tight-wad. So of course there is rarely any name brand stuff in our house. Great Value is a daily staple at the Price crib.

BUT!!!!!

Last night at Wal-Mart…they were OUT of Great Value peanut butter. OUT! Gone, vamoose. Non-existent. I was SO sad. Because that meant I had only two options. 1. Don’t buy ANY peanut butter and face the wrath of Jack or 2. Break down and buy the $4.18 dollar jar of flipping Peter Pan peanut butter.

WHY. Someone please explain to me WHY groceries are so flipping expensive? If I didn’t love eating so much, I would totally stop JUST to save money. Bull. Bull corn.

Of course, I broke down and bout the $4,000,000 dollar jar of peanut butter so that my kids and husband could be happy…but not before I stood there for at least 5 minutes contemplating my excuses of coming back WITHOUT peanut butter. Which, I probably wouldn’t have lived to tell the tale today if I had.

A day in my life, for real. :)

Did I Win the Lottery?! No!

So Fishstick goes to daycare, and I LOVE his daycare. I love the girls that work there, and it’s just awesome…It’s reasonably priced so I can’t complain, and I really would recommend it to friends. My sister on the other hand…got the short end of this stick apparently. Her youngest son started “pre-school” this morning along with about 3 million other kids…but apparently he is starting a school that either A) has absolutely NO money or B) Has absolutely NO idea what they’re doing…I personally think it’s probably both.

Now, before I tell you why I think this school is out of their effing mind, I just want to say that, we are in a really piss-poor economy, IN CASE YOU WERE UNAWARE. So for those of us who weren’t born with silver spoons in our mouths, or have procreated to the point of poverty, we just can’t afford to drop $1,000 green slips on SCHOOL SUPPLIES!

Yes, SCHOOL SUPPLIES. Crayons, glue, scissors…the usual. Or at least it used to be. When I bought school supplies this year for Jack, my 1^st grader, I only spent a grand total of $130.00 bucks, give or take a little, and that included about 6 new outfits, new tennis shoes, new flip flops, a back pack AND a lunch box!

I am about to show you something that will shock the living daylights out of you…This is my nephews PRE-SCHOOL, school supply list. Now of course I have added in my own little quips and comments to make it funnier, but on a serious note – this thing is re-freaking-donkulous.

·         Two bottles Elmer’s Glue – Because 1 Glue Won’t Do!

·         1 Pair scissors

·         1 pkg. loose leaf multi colored construction paper

·         2 pkg. white copy paper – Are they learning to FAX??

·         1 pkg. 8 washable markers

·         1 pkg. 8 Jumbo or Chubby crayons – Do I DARE make a ‘chubby crayon joke’ There’s just too many to choose from really, so I’ll pass J

·         1 pkg. 3 or 4 Play-Doh NO Rose Art – Um, excuse me? Are you trying to be fancy when you let 9 different children stick they’re booger and peanut butter covered hands into the modeling clay?

·         Glue Sticks – Wait…didn’t I just buy liquid glue?! Yes, yes I did!

·         Water color or finger paint

·         Paint smock – Why yes Timmy, Daddy’s old Hooter’s T-shirt will make a PERFECT paint smock! Great idea.

·         Bag of play sand – Wtf. Who was the half-wit who came up with the idea to bag up sand and sell it?! You know he did not come up with that game plan sober.

·         Tooth brush – Because apparently as parents, we are incapable of making our children brush their teeth at home…what were WE thinking??

·         Tooth brush cap to cover ONLY the bristles not entire toothbrush – So what, the rest of the toothbrush isn’t afraid of the dark?

·         Kid’s Toothpaste – Again, my child has great dental hygiene and the idea of having a toothbrush in a classroom where kids are sick ALL THE TIME is a little strange to me…

·         Bottle of fun foam – This sounds like something you would buy at a sex store…Don’t tell me you didn’t imagine some oily-beau-hunk on the bottle in a silky pair of shorts…jusssst sayin…

·         Kleenex – Achoo.

·         Band-Aids – Ouchies. And if they think they are getting ones with Buzz-Lightyear and Charlie Brown on them they are SADLY mistaken…

·         Envelopes – For all those letter’s they’re going to be writing…IN DAYCARE.

·         Crib sheet – Fair enough.

·         1 pkg. of cotton balls or brown paper bags – I just hope this is for crafts, because the last time I tried to take off nail polish with a brown paper sack it didn’t turn out so well

·         Paper plates – Again with the frivolous killing of trees…jerks.

·         Magic erase cleaners – NOT regular erasers….MAGIC ones…for walls…

·         Clear contact paper – I wish I knew what this was so I could honestly come up with a witty response as to why it’s useless.

·         1 roll of colored duct tape – no silver! – Because let’s face it, only backwoods hillbillies use NORMAL colored duct tape that is $3.00 cheaper than hot pink duct tape with Hello Kitty’s face plastered on it

·         Pre-cut foam shapes or craft sticks – What in the hell is a craft stick? Is that the same thing as a Popsicle stick? Here Timmy, become a diabetic and eat these three boxes of discounted popsicles instead…I’m sure it’s cheaper and with Obama-Care you’ll get free insulin…It’s all good.

·         Colored feathers or pom-poms – Seriously?? Just…wow. If I see my colored feather I paid $4.00 for in some little kids hair I will flip out.

·         Googlie eyes – Presumably to use my glue to stick to my paper plates and call it a monster…I hope.

·         Self-stick Velcro – We all know non-stick Velcro just won’t work as well

·         1 bag of beads or buttons – Here, go pull the buttons off of all of grandpa’s pants, he doesn’t remember to button them anyways these days…

·         Crepe paper – I’d rather just eat crepes…oui oui!

·         1 pkg. of AA or D batteries – What in the hell was on this list that required batteries?! Nothing? Oh ok, good just wanted to make sure that my hard earned cheddar was going to something my kid would ACTUALLY use. Gotcha. Thanks for clearing that up.

·         1 disposable camera – I better be getting AWESOME pictures…approximately 27 of them to be exact, and I want the high gloss finish.

I actually went through and did a rough total of what all of this would cost plus sales tax, and I was well over $200 because not only do they have to buy THIS now, they have to buy it AGAIN in February! So I totaled this up and then multiplied it by 2. Ridculous.

Plus, not only does my sister have to buy all of this, but she also has to pay $100.00+ a week for the actual childcare, so what I want to know is what the hell that money is paying for!!!! And the kicker is this stuff doesn’t even stay specifically with HER child…it gets thrown into the box for the ENTIRE SCHOOL to use…No no no! Jeez people come on – you should be questioning what you are paying for, don’t just give away your hard earned money!

Do NOT get me wrong, I am all about my kids’ education and if the school told me I had to go out and buy them a $300.00 laptop because it would help them reach their goals, you’d better believe that I am right there in line buying that laptop. But when it comes to buying supplies for the teachers and the school as a whole, I am MORE than happy to donate a few extra packs of markers, or even some cotton balls here and there. And I can even understand everyone chipping in a package of dry erase markers, some Kleenex, and soap because I remember having to buy that stuff for our teachers. But being REQUIRED to spend $400 dollars twice a school year and then $100 dollars a week in order to stock up the daycares art supply box, I don’t freakin’ think so Pal!

I’m just saying, I have a huge respect for our Teachers and what they do, I just can’t afford to pick up the slack for the entire school…and we shouldn’t be asked to. We purchase these things for OUR children, for THEIR educational experience…not everyone else’s.

That is all.