I break things. I would compare it to people looking into
Medusa’s eyes…I look at things and they break. I also have this effect on
plant-life…I think about growing it, and it choses suicide rather than the life
of starvation I would inevitably give it.
Regardless, it is just in my DNA to break things. Luckily my
husband is handy and he is typically there to fix whatever it is I have touched
and/or thought about touching.
So when he went to the store to buy me a lovely warm blanket
that I had asked for because I have been feeling under the weather, I thought I
would be awesome and do the dishes.
Wrong.
I am not really sure why he was so surprised to walk into
the kitchen and see that I had broken the sink by putting an entire pot of
leftover cabbage down the garbage disposal. So contrary to what this particular
blog post might imply, I am very smart and quite handy…however, my thought
process was simple.
Soupy leftover cabbage + Trash = Smelly drippy trash
Soupy leftover cabbage + garbage disposal = Chopped up
liquid cabbage that flows down the drain and doesn’t stink up my house.
Simple. However – my hubs did not agree with this thought
process and after several swear words, throwing of kitchen items out of the way
of the draining cabbage-water and half a gallon of Drain-O the sink appears to
be fixed.
Although, when I asked him if I could drain my pasta for
dinner he politely told me no, and I had to drain it in the bathtub. No biggie.
The best part of this particular genetic-flaw that I possess
are the nick-names that come along with it…I’ve earned quite a few, some that
stick around for a while and some that pop and fizzle. Tonight’s nickname will
definitely go down in the history books.
As I was apologizing for causing the sink a slow and painful
death-by-cabbage, Hubs just smiled and said, “It’s ok…It’s just what you do. It’s
your middle name… ‘Ashley-Breaks Sinks-Bacon’.” Then he said that this incident
caused me to lose my married name. Eh, it happens.
So basically I asked if that could be my mafia name, smiled
and all was forgiven…and my sink gets to live another day.
