Oh, Fifty Shades of Grey...You Dirty Slut.

I’m sorry Fifty Shades of Grey lovers…I’m sorry I have to do this.

First, I admit it. I’ve watched the trailer for this movie and drooled down my chin on numerous occasions. I’m human. 

To both parties on the sides of this…thing. I don’t know what else you would call it honestly. Debate? That doesn’t really fit. Argument? Eh, maybe. Thing just fits best. STAHP. Please. I beg of you. I want to make a special call out to the people who think this is literature and silver screen gold. You all need to read better books and watch more movies.

I find it comical the stir this movie has caused. It has quite literally generated another uproar on my social media feeds. People are damning people to hell for watching it, while other people are offended since it is "flawless art."

It. Is. A. Movie.

How dare I say such blasphemous things on the world wide web! How dare I challenge the status quo set by red-blooded American women everywhere who read this book!

It. Is. A. Movie.

People's motivation to see movies rarely extends past, "Oh I love -insert actor here." They see something that is appealing, they go watch it. It explains why my kids have watched Frozen a gazillion times. It interests them. It doesn’t go much further than that. The same holds true for adults and by extension this movie.

Come on people! It’s smutty fiction written by a woman who was in love with her characters…we saw the tween disaster version of this with Twilight. 

At the end of the day - who flipping cares? Overly drawn out Harlequin novels have been around for ages. The only difference is this one has attractive people instead of the oiled up dreamboat of the 80s.

I tried to read this book by the way - it was horrid writing and I couldn’t even get past the first chapter. Even when I skipped ahead to the dirty parts, which I admittedly did, it was painful to try and read those too.

But am I going to watch it? Duh…a hot boy with bondage gear?! Sign this mama up! Ow ow! Am I going to lose sleep over the fact that people on my news feed will be offended? Ha. Do you know me at all? 

So, I'm sorry Fifty Shades of Grey fans that I have to call your amazing book crap. I'm still going to see the movie and drool by your side, so that has to count for something, right? 

Follow me on Twitter @TheAshleyPrice

Ashley "Breaks Sinks" Bacon

I break things. I would compare it to people looking into Medusa’s eyes…I look at things and they break. I also have this effect on plant-life…I think about growing it, and it choses suicide rather than the life of starvation I would inevitably give it.

Regardless, it is just in my DNA to break things. Luckily my husband is handy and he is typically there to fix whatever it is I have touched and/or thought about touching. 

So when he went to the store to buy me a lovely warm blanket that I had asked for because I have been feeling under the weather, I thought I would be awesome and do the dishes. 

Wrong.

I am not really sure why he was so surprised to walk into the kitchen and see that I had broken the sink by putting an entire pot of leftover cabbage down the garbage disposal. So contrary to what this particular blog post might imply, I am very smart and quite handy…however, my thought process was simple.

Soupy leftover cabbage + Trash = Smelly drippy trash

Soupy leftover cabbage + garbage disposal = Chopped up liquid cabbage that flows down the drain and doesn’t stink up my house.

Simple. However – my hubs did not agree with this thought process and after several swear words, throwing of kitchen items out of the way of the draining cabbage-water and half a gallon of Drain-O the sink appears to be fixed.

Although, when I asked him if I could drain my pasta for dinner he politely told me no, and I had to drain it in the bathtub. No biggie. 

The best part of this particular genetic-flaw that I possess are the nick-names that come along with it…I’ve earned quite a few, some that stick around for a while and some that pop and fizzle. Tonight’s nickname will definitely go down in the history books. 

As I was apologizing for causing the sink a slow and painful death-by-cabbage, Hubs just smiled and said, “It’s ok…It’s just what you do. It’s your middle name… ‘Ashley-Breaks Sinks-Bacon’.” Then he said that this incident caused me to lose my married name. Eh, it happens.

So basically I asked if that could be my mafia name, smiled and all was forgiven…and my sink gets to live another day.

Procrastination

I will blog...I will blog...I will blog...


Tomorrow.


Whatever, don't judge me. :)

Xbox Hate Crime

Dear Husband,
It is because I love you I say this, so please understand...

I am awake an hour and a half early because the loud obnoxious sounds of GTA5 scaring the life out of me at 4:39 in the morning...and you curiously laughing to find out if someone shoots a line of gas while you pour it out if it will light on fire like in real life. It does?! That's fabulous and I am so glad you cleared that up! Your happiness is everything to me, love your smile.

I also understand that we work different schedules and you are up while I am asleep. But just so you know...when I don't get my sleep I cannot be expected to be a functional member of society.

So if you come home and the xbox is just magically *poof* in the washing machine and I am sleeping soundly, you will know that I did it for our marriage, your sanity, and so I can sleep and dream of Daryl Dixon fighting off zombies while singing me Disney show tunes in a edgy new-rock way.

Just saying.

I love you and hope you sleep well today while no one is home.

Hide the xbox.

Love always,
A very sleepy wife

Reflecting & Resolutions

Reflecting & Resolutions…

Tis that time again when I vow I will blog like I am supposed to, when New Year’s Resolutions are being made, and when we all realize that we probably shouldn’t have had that second slice of pie at Christmas dinner…It happens.

Well what a year you were 2012…you brought happiness and sorrow, life and death, and lots of Ben and Jerry’s. I survived and made it through in one piece although there were times where I literally thought I was going to crumble. Hell, I am always up for a challenge so bring on 2013, I say!

As for my New Year’s Resolutions…I thoroughly suck at making them, but I do have a few that have spawned from my life lessons of this past year.

1.      I will be a better mother. I will say yes more to my children and no more to the things around me. I will be a champion for their dreams and needs and I will make sure that I am available to them whenever they need me.

2.      I will be one hot Mama! I plan on getting on the healthier track and being an example for my children…Plus I’d like to get down a couple of dress sizes ;)

3.      I will be the wife I should be. I will make sure every day my husband knows how much he means to me.

Those are the bigger resolutions, of course there are the smaller ones like not eating as much junk food, looking both ways before crossing the street…you know…those kind.

Now I guess it is time for reflecting on my 2012…

My mother passed away. It just feels so unreal still and it’s very hard. I don’t care what anyone says to me, it has not gotten easier, I think it just becomes this strange ‘normal’ that I can’t describe. I miss her so much every day, and there have been several of those days when I needed to pick up the phone and call her and ask if the hot dogs in my fridge are still good, or if I should worry when one of the kids is running a 101.0 fever. Then of course I realize I can’t, and it’s a very bittersweet moment, because ultimately…I know the answers to those questions, because she taught me. She showed me how to be a good wife and mother and housekeeper, although that last one is still really hard for me to do with a full time job, three kids, a husband and a dog…but I’m getting there. She knew I would always need her, and so she knew she was teaching me the things I would need to know and remember. And while it didn’t seem like it when she was here, I was learning and remembering them, although not being able to physically hear her reassurance, I know she is here with me each and every day doing just that.

Ok. –insert ugly cry, deep breath, and recuperation here-

Happy time! We had Miles Parker! The newest addition to the Price Brigade! He is 6 months old now, good gravy, and he is a hoot. He’s cutting teeth and rolling over, and sitting up and just absorbing his world around him. It’s amazing. On the kid note, Fisher turned two, Jack turned seven, Badger turned one, and Sean and I turned Old. J We realized this when we went to the movies and to dinner when we had an all-night babysitter and then decided at like 9:00 to go pick up our kids and come home.

But hey, what can I say. We were meant to be parents, clearly.

Those are just a few of the things that happened in my 2012. There was SO much more that will come up as true hilarity and sadness and randomness in future blogs…which! Oh yeah, I forgot, my 4^th New Year’s Resolution…I will actively blog, for my mom. She LOVED reading my writing and I promised her that I would keep it up. So. I. Will.

Remember everyone – if you aren’t following me already on Twitter, YOU SHOULD BE @JackNFisherMom.

In the words of PhillyD “Love yo faces!”

Chicken Sandwich.

What better way to bring back a seemingly dormant blog than with a highly touchy controversial subject!

By now, I am sure that most of you have heard the Chick-Fil-A controversy…if not, go read up on it and come back…I’ll wait…

Are you done yet? Ok, great.

I have been seeing a lot of posts on my friends Facebook pages and Twitter accounts regarding this and I have also personally read a lot of the articles that have hit the media as well.

Here are my thoughts. And if you don’t agree with me, fine. Don’t agree. But don’t hate…hate is why we have a topic to discuss today unfortunately.

Chick-Fil-A. They make delicious chicken sandwiches, and I thoroughly enjoy them. When they revamped their desert menu, their brownies started to really stink, I’m blaming Splenda versus real sugar. The end.

Ok, seriously though – I have several gay friends. I love and support every one of them. They should be able to get married and have children, same as anyone else because sexual orientation doesn’t build a family…LOVE does. So when someone tries to stand in their way of living a full and loving life, and then tries to justify that ignorance by saying that type of ‘lifestyle’ goes against ‘family values,’ it makes my blood boil. Take a look around peeps – there are PLENTY of heterosexual men and women who don’t have the balls to be dedicated to their families and spouses these days.

While I completely agree with 95% of people who say that the CEO of Chick-Fil-A is an idiot and should be strung up by his toes and have his nasty artificially sweetened brownies thrown at his face…I won’t sit by and let ONE person’s thoughts affect MY views on a company. Not only should he have kept his comments to himself, knowing that something like this would go STRAIGHT UP Perez Hilton on his ass, he should have REALLY known better than to try and slough it off as a companywide belief. That act alone shows his ignorance.

I’m not going to speak for any of the other Chick-Fil-A chains that pepper the nation’s fast food industry, but I am going to give my opinion on ours that are here locally…and I have never been given reason to believe that any of the employees would act maliciously or inappropriately to ANYONE, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation.

IN FACT. I would be willing to take bets, that prior to this comment being made, the majority of people in NWA would say that the customer service at Chick-Fil-A’s (at least here in NWA) was 110% better than the other fast food restaurants that are here.

So now I’m seeing everyone boycotting Chick-Fil-A all through Northwest Arkansas because of ONE person’s comment. Don’t get me wrong I think you should totally stand up for what you believe in, in whatever fashion you see fit and if that means no more delicious chicken biscuits then so be it…But I believe that you shouldn’t condemn an entire company based on one ignorant person’s comments, isn’t that sort of what their CEO just did? Jusssst sayin.

At the end of the day I don’t want my personal views on highly explosive topics to be determined by where I choose to eat lunch one day, so I will continue to support the gay community to the fullest, and I will continue to eat my chicken sandwiches...it’s just a chicken sandwich – not a statement.

Facts are Facts. Chick-Fil-A is a restaurant. There is always going to be hate in the world. I choose to believe that love will prevail. I believe that God loves EVERYONE.

And I will eat chicken darn it.

Be sure to follow me on Twitter if you aren’t already! @JackNFishersMom

Yeah...I did that.

So this morning my best friend and I were having a discussion about one random thing or another and this topic came up to us when you say you aren’t going to do something and then you end up doing it anyways, or you just have one of those moments where you say or do something completely idiotic and you can’t help but think to yourself, “Yeah. I did that.”

Of course that made my creative light bulb go off in my head and I started thinking about a list of things that you try so hard not to do, and then you’re like “Yeah…I did that.”

1.   We had trouble with our air conditioner at work, and when the guy who was supposed to fix it stuck his head in my office door to ask if it was cool in the office, I responded with “No, It’s Thursday.” Yeah…I did that.

2.   While walking through the grocery store I bumped into a display of laundry detergent, I politely apologized and said “Excuse me, sir.” Yeah I did that.

3.   When I was 14 Katrina and I were attempting to sneak out of the house for Valentine’s Day in order to spend it with our boyfriends at that time…so we gave my mom the excuse of “Katrina and I are going to the drive in movie theater” in order to justify staying out late…but little did we know that the drive in was closed for the season. Yeah We did that.

4.   Last night Sean and I were watching Saturday Night Live, and the musical guest was Foster the People. Sean proceeded to pronounce ‘people’ in the following way – pee-oh-play. Yeah, he did that.

5.   My parents had a sack of peanuts at their house surrounded by sand. After asking why there was sand around the bag, and being explained to me that peanuts in fact grew in the sand, I chimed in with, “I thought they grew on trees!” Yeah, I did that.

6.   Sean had just made dinner for us and I took my Styrofoam plate and sat it down on the burner of the stove that did NOT have anything on it so I could get the last piece of cornbread and put on my plate, but my plate proceeded to make a horrendous sizzling noise as it melted to my food because apparently he had been using that burner and it was still hot! Yeah I did that.

7.   My father in law was talking about his garden and the veggies he had planted and mentioned something about pickled okra…and I assumed, and vocally let it be known, that I was surprised how there was a special type of okra that just magically grew already pickled! Yeah, I did that.

8.   Katrina, my absolute best friend ever, was telling me a story about someone who was clearly a “pot-head” as the youth these days like to call it, and without thinking said something about, “I just don’t want to smoke Ganja.” Luckily she has me as a friend, who called her out on her obvious 90-year old crabby lady mistake and laughed. But you know the drill. Yeah, she did that.

9.   While Katrina and I were riding in the car listening to music, a rap song came on the radio that I had never heard and I really liked it actually so while I meant to say “This is alright!” My inner gangsta came out and said loudly, “That’s AIIIGHT!” Yeah I did that. We still laugh about this one, actually.

So I only have 9 of these so far because for some reason the whacky formatting on my blog indents number 10 WAY far into the paragraph instead of keeping it lined up with number 9 and that drives me bonkers!

10.                SEEEEEE?! The formatting is so off! Oh well I have another one! So one of my friends was out with the girls and they were like “You should leave your number for the waiter!” and my friend was like “No! No! Way I could never ever do that! Oh my gosh!” And she did it. Haha. Left her number. Yeah, she did that.

But now I am completely addicted to coming up with this list of “Yeah, I did that” things. I’m thinking they will definitely become a Twitter special which leads me to my NEXT saying which issss…..

If you aren’t already, you need to be following me on Twitter! @JackNFishersMom

OH! Before I forget, because I do that a lot!        

We are getting ready to move this weekend, exciting I know! But things are going to be kind of hectic and there are a lot of changes that I am going to be making ALONG WITH possibly starting a vlog for YouTube! Even MORE exciting right?! I will fill you guys in as everything happens, but yeah! That is basically it for now!

Peace out home-skillets!

Is it just me or was this font ridiculously tiny??? Damn formatting.

Again With the Blogging!

Why am I so horribly bad at being consistent with things?? Writing is my passion, my niche, my awesomely good talent…so WHYY can I not make myself write every day? Then I realize, even on days when I have ABSOLUTELY nothing going on…I am still ridiculously busy! So I took the liberty of typing up my schedule just to see how much free time I actually have in a day…and let me tell you, it isn’t much, at least not at a time! Haha!

5:40 a.m. – Up and at ‘em! Or at least I’d like to be…this is the point in my day when I debate hitting my ‘snooze’ button again, and then groggily drag my sleepy hind end to the shower…
6:00 a.m. – Out of the shower and more awake than I was 20 minutes ago…but still groggy and in need of something…
6:15 a.m. – Breakfast & drying my hair, applying make-up, getting pretty for the day. Yes, I eat my cereal WHILE I get ready, otherwise I would either starve, or go to work with wet hair :)
6:40 a.m. – Getting the boys awake and dressed, making sure the diaper bag is packed, lunches are good to go and getting the Hubster ready for his day.
7:05 a.m. – Out the door!! The 4 of us shuffle down stairs, and MOST mornings we are rushing out the door and into the car all while eating pop tarts and still applying eye liner because I ACTUALLY chose to hit the snooze button. :)
7:15 a.m. – Dropping off the Hubster at work
7:30 a.m. – Dropping off Jack at school for the day
7:35 a.m. – Calling Katrina, my BESTEST friend EVER, so that we can have our morning chat about whatever is currently going on in our lives and get a good laugh in before we start our work day.
7:50 a.m. – Dropping off the baby at daycare for a few hours
8:00 a.m. – I FINALLY arrive at work, open up the office and begin my day as a Marketing Coordinator & Executive Assistant…what else would I rather be doing?! Nothing! Love my job.
12:00 p.m. – My work day is over and it is time for me to work my schedule BACKWARDS now.
12:10 p.m. – Now I am PICKING up the baby from daycare, I usually chat with the girls for a little bit before I leave to go home and attempt to get things accomplished.
12:30 p.m.  – We FINALLY get home, and that is if we don’t have any errands to run between the time I leave to go pick up Jack Attack from school at 3:00…

1:00 p.m. – Fisher has a snack, watches 1 episode of any Nick Jr. show that I just happen to click on first and then proceed to lay down for naps until about 1:45. This is also when I turn on the music, and start cleaning, doing dishes, sorting things…whatever needs to be done at that time.
1:45 p.m. – Time to wake up the baby and get bottled water, graham crackers and my walking shoes on so I can go park in the carpool line to get Jack and walk with the girls!
2:00 p.m. – I’m parked in the carpool like, usually 5 cars back, because someone spilled our secret about getting there early, so now people get there at 1:45 to steal our spaces. Dang it. And I go walk with the girls until about 2:30, then come back and sit down and chat until it’s time for the kids to come down to the cars
3:00 p.m. – YAY! Jack is here!!! Time to feed them snacks and go get daddy! 4:00 p.m. – Daddy is off work! Yay! Then we get to head home!
4:15 p.m. – We’re HOME! Yay! But now it’s time to do home work, or whatever needs to be done, have some play time with the boys and start dinner. Ok, so I can’t really complain about the cooking dinner portion of my day, because I have been blessed with a truly awesome cook for a husband, and he LOVES cooking…so he usually takes over that part of the evening so I can really catch up on emails, and having some play time with the boys…
6:00 p.m. – DINNER TIME!!! Yummy! Obviously this is when we eat dinner as a family :)
7:00 p.m. – After Dinner is done and the dishes are put away and the boys bellies are full it is time for them to get bath time and another round of play time until 8:00 when it’s bed time!!!
8:00 p.m. – Bed Time for Babies! We put the boys in bed, give hugs & kisses and tell good night stories.
8:15 p.m. – After bedtime stories, kisses & hugs and plopping down on the couch, we usually catch up on a show we enjoy watching together, or a movie. I have to admit though we are a really technological family, who probably also all have ADD…so even though the movie is TURNED ON, we are usually sitting on the couch cuddling up playing on our phones or laptops…the world we live in.
10:30 p.m. – Movie or show is OVER and now it’s time to hit the hay…

See!? Seriously…I only found a few hours of ACTUAL free time total…and that is getting an hour or two here and there squeezed in, not all at once.

And that doesn’t include if we have things to do like going to the grocery store or to the my In-Law’s for dinner, or anything like that….so I am a busy woman…I’m sure I just feel like I’m busy and running around like crazy because I’m the one doing it, and to someone who is a CEO of a major company and has 4 kids to shuffle around to activities and a is a single parent, I have the good life. So DO NOT think that I am complaining at all! I am grateful to have the life and family that I do…TRUST ME! J

But this blog IS dedicated to the craziness that is going to be occurring this week in my life! Ooh-hoo! Just wait for that updated post!

I LOVE my crazy hectic life and I wouldn’t have it any other way! J

The Cable-Less Prices!

I noticed yesterday on one of my friends Facebook status’ that he was getting rid of cable television…and I have to admit I was pretty excited when I saw that. Let’s face it, in all honesty, American’s as a whole, watch WAY too much boob-tube. I and my family are included in that generalization, so don’t think I’m being all judgmental or anything.

Now, let me backtrack.

A few months ago, Sean and I sat down and looked at our monthly bills as a whole and realized that we were spending money frivolously on things that we actually didn’t need. SO we decided to make some cutbacks in the departments we thought were taking the most away from our budget. Cable, just happened to be one of them. At any given time our cable bill would range from $115.00 - $140.00 per month…and at that time we had digital cable, with the DVR and high speed internet. So when we moved to Fayetteville we decided to ditch the DVR and just have basic cable, and internet, which lowered our bill to about $98.00 - $100.00 per month. Not as bad, but still not good. And it almost ALWAYS fluctuated. Which was crap.

So I still wasn’t happy with that and decided to give my cable company a piece of my mind, since I was already giving them a pretty hefty piece of my paychecks. When I spoke with Javier, (Nope, not even making that up…that was his name…) HE informed me that they could charge surcharges, fees, sales tax, and any other little charges they felt were necessary on cable services all they wanted…but they couldn’t charge ANYTHING on internet services. So of course it infuriated me that the bulk of my bill was coming from my $54.00 cable services and all of the fees and frills they were tacking on to it! Jerks. At that point I realized that if I completely cancelled our cable services and kept only our high speed internet, which we needed for work, school, XBOX Live, etc…my cable bill would only be $38.99 a month…every month, without ANY fluctuation…and I really really liked the sound of that. :)

But at the same time, I was NOT keen on giving up my Grey’s Anatomy and my Glee cold turkey in the middle of seasons…So I started researching online and started finding and bookmarking websites that had unlimited streaming or uploading of television shows, football games, movies, and so on and so forth.

And let me switch gears on you really fast…I know, I'm blowing your mind.

We have an XBOX 360, and we also pay for XBOX live on a yearly basis, which is like $100.00 give or take a little, but that actually breaks down to be pretty cheap considering how much we actually use it…so in my opinion, if you do NOT have an XBOX 360 or a Wii or something along those lines that allows for web-streaming of videos, buy one. GO GO NOW. It is the best investment you will ever make, I swear.

Now if you already have an XBOX 360 – none of this is going to be news to you. But basically on XBOX Live you have tons of video options from Zune, to Netflix to Hulu Plus, to College Game Day streaming, just to name a few. Not to mention the wonderful internet that is available on your computers, and surprisingly enough, all of these are pretty cheap and user friendly.

And we’re back.

So once I did my research and found out that I could access a lot of the television shows we were currently watching either through our XBOX Live account, or the internet I was pretty sold on cancelling the cable services.

AAAANNNNDDDD here is how it broke down for us…

We decided that the boys still needed their cartoons now and again and we would like to be able to watch the occasional movie, so Netflix unlimited streaming for $10.00 a month was a go. We also decided that I would be a very unhappy mama if I could no longer watch Glee…so Hulu Plus for $7.99 a month was also a go along with our regular internet services for $38.99 per month.

So what is that you say? I LITERALLY cut my cable bill down by almost 75%?! You’re darn skippy I did!!!

Here is how my bill looks now:

Internet: $38.99
Netflix: $10.74
Hulu Plus: $7.99

GRAND TOTAL: $57.72 per month VERSUS the $140.00 it was previously!

WOO HOOO!!!!!

And just in case you are REALLY that curious, here is how we have it all hooked up. We have our computer tower hooked up through our ginormous television screen that way if there is a show on Hulu Plus that is “Web Only” we don’t have to all crowd around my little laptop to watch a show online, we can simply switch our Input channel to PC and watch away! Then we also have the XBOX 360 hooked up through the television which makes viewing on that piece of technology more simple, and fortunately for us, our television is less than 3 years old so it actually has the digital antennae built right into it so we can pick up a few local channels, providing us with the local news, sports and shows. I think we actually get FOX, CBS, ABC, and NBC…which is all ya need right?! J There are some local access channels sprinkled in through those as well, which surprisingly enough have some decent shows on them!

There are lots of wires, but that’s what power surgers and zip ties are for right? I know, I'm a genius.

All in all, I thought it was going to be a really difficult transition going from having the ability to turn on the food network and watch Rachel Ray, and then switch to FX to watch Sons of Anarchy…but it really hasn’t been that bad at all. Given, you generally have to wait about 24 hours before videos are uploaded to the websites and things like that…but for the most part we are pretty busy and just take one night after dinner to catch up on everything and use our other nights to do fun stuff with the kiddos!

So in  my opinion investing in the XBOX 360, along with the yearly subscription to XBOX Live is a beneficial investment that you will get your money’s worth in the long run…AND, if you're going to buy your XBOX 360, go to GameStop...for an extra $20 bucks or so you can get a protection plan where if your two year old spills juice down into it and it starts having an electronic seizure, you can literally take it BACK up to GameStop and they will hand you a BRAND NEW one. It's worth it...but the protection plans.

And my other advice to you would be to CHECK OUT YOUR BILLS. There are all kinds of things they can be charging you for without you even knowing it…and there are ALWAYS ways to cut back and make changes, and I promise it will not be the end of the world if you decide to get rid of cable there are tons of places to watch television now aside from price-hungry cable companies!  J

Now that I have gracefully fallen off of my soap box for today…I will leave you with this bit-o'-information…

IF YOU AREN’T FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER ALREADY YOU NEED TO BE!!! SERIOUSLY. @JackNFishersMom

And I would like to thank Trey for posting about this on his Facebook page and giving me an awesome blog topic for today! J