Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!

I already know that this blog is going to ruffle some feathers for several reasons, and frankly my dear I don’t give a damn, but I will gladly play Devil’s Advocate and take a look at them.

1.   I live in the Bible Belt, and I do NOT mean that in a bad way. God’s presence is everywhere in our house and in our lives…but let’s face it, there are some people out there who take judgment into their OWN hands and they don’t dish it out lightly.

2.   Sex seems to be the most awkward subject between a parent and their kids. I even feel awkward talking about it, so don’t worry – I get that.

3.   “Abstinence” Is all anyone around here knows to teach, and when you even think about bringing up sex education, you might as well go join the Lepers, because you just signed your own death warrant.

4.   Kids are a touchy subject. What should they hear? What do they already know? They’re our babies, we need to protect them. They’re our babies, but they need to know what the “real world” has in store for them.

These are all DIFFICULT decisions and situations to have to handle as a parent, and I completely understand that!

Which leads me to today’s blog post…SEX. The big nasty, the horizontal mambo, the dirty deed, whoopee, WHATEVER you prefer to call it. This is it.

I’m still a fairly young adult and I remember what I learned in my high school health class with Mrs. Bryant, and it definitely was not anywhere NEAR sex ed. We learned what foods were healthy, that STD’s were out there, and that babies came from your uterus. That was about the jest of it. How did those babies get there? No idea, of course we all actually KNEW how they got there…but aside from that, we pretty much had to either A. Ask our parents or B. Ask our friends about the P’s & Q’s of sex.

So I think it is AWESOME that New York schools are going to make sex education a requirement! And not only are they doing that, they are taking it one step further and requiring that students take it TWICE, once in 6^th or 7^th grade and again in high school. Of course, they have the option to “opt out” or “cop out” as I like to call it for those parents who just don’t want their kids “exposed”…I’m just like, “You live in NEW YORK! Take a look around, they’re exposed already, trust me!” But I think sex ed in schools is a great idea, and I think Northwest Arkansas is only being stubborn and ignorant if they don’t jump on this bandwagon. I think 6^th & 7^th grade is a PERFECT time to start introducing sex education, especially with everything that is going on in our world today and all of the information that is readily available to our kids. Anything younger than 6^th or 7^th grade seems excessive to me, and they probably wouldn’t listen very well, or take anything you say into account…But I agree with the officials in New York. Our kids need to be educated.

The statistics for teenage pregnancy are ridiculous! I’m sure shows like 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom (Which I am completely guilty of watching) don’t help, they tend to glorify teen pregnancy in some ways, and since I was a teen mother myself, I had our oldest son Jack, when I was 17. I got pregnant when I was 16 and I can testify that it is NOT glorious. I had to work hard to get where I’m at in my life today, and it was not a simple task. I love my boys more than anything on the face of this Earth, and I wouldn’t change any of the decisions I have made in my life, good or bad, because I look at them as learning experiences…but teen pregnancy is not fun, and if it can be prevented, then we should be the ones teaching our kids how to do so. Everything turned out great for me, but there are babies being dumped in trash cans and dumpsters because the mothers are too young to know how to handle that and they were too afraid to go to their parents for help for fear of what they would say or think…and that my friends HAS to stop.

Here in Northwest Arkansas the message is Abstinence. If they don’t do it, it can’t happen. Well duh. I would be willing to put money on the fact that 100% of the teenagers attending high school along with the majority of the younger school aged kids could tell you that. But at the same time, I would say that even though the majority of those teenagers know that if they just don’t do it, it can’t happen…there is still going to be a surprising percentage that are still doing it.

So WHY are we not equipping them with knowledge and power? Why are we letting young girls go into these relationships and get pressured without having ANY idea on how to protect themselves? Why are teenage boys so painfully unaware of what a condom is, or what STD’s can do to them!?

Here’s the answer –because we as adults, are just too afraid to talk to them about it. That’s the bottom line, you can twist it and turn it and try to justify it in any way that you want…but that is the fact of the matter. Adult’s feel uncomfortable talking to their kids about sex…it’s awkward. Hell yes it is. No one wants to imagine that their young kids are thinking about or even having sex!!! I don’t! But I also don’t want my boys to lose any opportunities in their lifetime because they were unaware of the consequences their actions held. I will NOT let that happen. So if I have to have an awkward conversation with them telling them to keep protection on them no matter what, even if nothing happens or nothing HAS happened…then that is what I will do.

Do I want my kids to go out and start having sex at a young age? No way, Jose! I don’t even want them to know what sex is! They’re my babies, and I want them to stay that way. But as a sane, well-educated adult, I know better. I know what kids talk about at school and on the bus, and I KNOW what the television shows and songs on the radio are ALL saying, even if it’s subliminal.

So I am going to teach them, that sex is something special that you shouldn’t just do because everyone else is, or because you “think” you love someone after a week. And that once they do it, EVERYTHING changes. You change as a person, your relationship will change, it is not something to take lightly.

There’s no need to go into detail about the physical aspects of sex, trust me, they’ll hear all of that from their friends and the internet I’m sure…but they need to know the basics. What condoms are, what birth control is…and MOST importantly, they need to know that they can come and TALK to you. That is going to be the most important aspect of your kids growing up. Communication. They need to know, that even though you don’t want to know they are having sex with the girl next door when you guys are still at work, you are still there for them to talk to no matter what.

I think we should all face it. Some kids, NOT ALL KIDS, are going to have sex at a young age…You can tell them that they aren’t allowed to have boys or girls up in their bedrooms or over at your house when you aren’t home, you can set curfews and be strict and authoritative, but face it…kids are resourceful and if they WANT to do it, they will find a way. So they should be educated and prepared.

Even though our kids watch us drive a car every day and they probably KNOW the basic idea of driving a vehicle well before they are actually old enough and mature enough to drive, we wouldn’t just assume that because they have been semi-exposed to the information they need that they could take our car on the interstate and know how to correct a spinning car on black ice. So why would we assume that they automatically know how to protect themselves when it comes to sex? We shouldn’t. Period.

Talk to you kids, it could be a changing factor for them and their decisions.

Anywho, that is my rant. I know that I can’t change the mind of everyone in America, but if ONE person reads this blog and say to themselves, “Wow, maybe I should talk to my kids about sex education, they’re getting to be that age now…maybe they have questions…” That little glimmer of hope is all I need to know that I made someone think a little harder about one of life’s harder decisions.

The end. J

So NOW I want to know what YOU think! Should sex education be taught in schools? What about in Northwest Arkansas? Leave your responses and comments below!!!