Snowmageddon 2011. The Preparation.

Last week we were hammered with snow, and it wasn't even the good snowman building type of snow, instead it was the crummy "powdery" snow. Bleh. However, it did get me out of work for basically an entire week, which was just fine and dandy with me. I ended up getting quite a bit of stuff done around the house and for some strange reason inclimate weather just makes me a more productive "house-wife." So I have been praying for some more snow before it is too late and Spring is here...because apparently that stupid groundhog did NOT see his shadow this year like I needed him to and Mama needs at least one or two more days of good inclimate weather to finish up my laundry.

Hallelujah! My prayers have been answered. Jack Frost is nipping at my nose and my snow senses are tingling. We are supposed to get snow for the next 24 hours and accumulations between 4 and 7 inches! Praise Mother Nature, you beautiful beautiful woman!

I should probably explain some things to those of you who have not experienced a "Northwest Arkansas Snow Storm"...

·     Everyone. And I do mean EVERYONE. Magically runs out of every single non-perishable food item in their pantry and proceeds to go to Wal-Mart to buy up everything - bottled water, canned beans, Chef Boyardee, toilet paper...because as we all know, the snow will never ever melt in the south.

·     Walmart = Insanity. It is worse than Black Friday and if you have any sort of medical condition or anxiety disorder I do not recommend going. EVER. Plus, it seems like all of the creepers crawl out of the woodwork. We are talking people with unjust buttcracks hanging out, and I can almost guarantee they are not plumbers.

·     The entire Northwest corner of the state shuts down. You would think we were literally planning for the apocalypse...or the Snowpocalypse by the looks of things. People board up in their houses and ride it out.

·     You can just forget about those roads getting cleared in a timely and effective manner. We have NO idea what we are doing because we never get snow...and when we do get snow, we sprinkle it with over priced kitty litter and call it a day. Ineffectively creating brown sludgy ice roads that are even more dangerous than when it first snowed.

Trust me on this, I know what I'm talking about. So Sean and I generally like to plan in advance for these types of things so that we are not stuck directly in the middle of the creepy buttcrack people and the overly anxious people buying up all of the freaking toilet paper. But not today. No, we have procrastinated to the best of our ability and now we will be forced to go to Wal-Mart...tonight. Before the snow claims our town again. So what I am doing? Creating a playlist for my iPod that includes "The Final Countdown" AND "Eye of the Tiger?" You bet your booty I am! It just seems wrong to go to such an epic event and not play those songs...so I am making a "Snowpocalypse Shopping Playlist" because I am just that awesome. Be jealous.

In all seriousness though, I am dreading this trip to Wal-Mart. The last time we did this was actually AFTER a snow storm and there was no butter. None! I had to settle for Blue Bonnet. No thank you, I'd rather have unbuttered biscuits. And you can forget about getting milk or eggs...they fly off the shelves like sequenced sunglasses at an Elton John concert...bye bye dairy and protein.

Thankfully we do not have to get a lot of things though. Diapers, eggs, chocolate chip cookies and cereal. I think thats about all we need to survive. I may have to tackle someone to get eggs though, which could end up with me on the news fighting some poor 90 year old woman for the last carton of eggs...so make sure you tune in tonight at 6:00 p.m. Just in case. :)

So now that I have effectively delayed doing anything productive for the last thirty minutes, I believe I need to make an actual grocery list and get myself and the boys ready to hit the grocery store when Sean gets home.

Wish me luck! I will let you know how this goes!