Ashley "Breaks Sinks" Bacon

I break things. I would compare it to people looking into Medusa’s eyes…I look at things and they break. I also have this effect on plant-life…I think about growing it, and it choses suicide rather than the life of starvation I would inevitably give it.

Regardless, it is just in my DNA to break things. Luckily my husband is handy and he is typically there to fix whatever it is I have touched and/or thought about touching. 

So when he went to the store to buy me a lovely warm blanket that I had asked for because I have been feeling under the weather, I thought I would be awesome and do the dishes. 

Wrong.

I am not really sure why he was so surprised to walk into the kitchen and see that I had broken the sink by putting an entire pot of leftover cabbage down the garbage disposal. So contrary to what this particular blog post might imply, I am very smart and quite handy…however, my thought process was simple.

Soupy leftover cabbage + Trash = Smelly drippy trash

Soupy leftover cabbage + garbage disposal = Chopped up liquid cabbage that flows down the drain and doesn’t stink up my house.

Simple. However – my hubs did not agree with this thought process and after several swear words, throwing of kitchen items out of the way of the draining cabbage-water and half a gallon of Drain-O the sink appears to be fixed.

Although, when I asked him if I could drain my pasta for dinner he politely told me no, and I had to drain it in the bathtub. No biggie. 

The best part of this particular genetic-flaw that I possess are the nick-names that come along with it…I’ve earned quite a few, some that stick around for a while and some that pop and fizzle. Tonight’s nickname will definitely go down in the history books. 

As I was apologizing for causing the sink a slow and painful death-by-cabbage, Hubs just smiled and said, “It’s ok…It’s just what you do. It’s your middle name… ‘Ashley-Breaks Sinks-Bacon’.” Then he said that this incident caused me to lose my married name. Eh, it happens.

So basically I asked if that could be my mafia name, smiled and all was forgiven…and my sink gets to live another day.